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Suddenly. Unexpectedly.

Shitty things happen all the time. Some are expected. Some are surprises.

Three months ago my first dog died. 

Prima was 15 years old.  A black chow/lab mix. She could barely stand. Walking seemed excruciating. She stopped getting walks because they were too hard for her. Instead she watched from the front window while Lilah, our other dog, a German Shepherd mix eight years her junior, would go on sunrise walks with my dad in the morning and jogs down to the big field with my mom in the afternoon.

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2014 Golden Globes: running diary

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AWARD SEASON BACK, Y’ALL. The Golden Globes is easily the best award show of them all. They pump the actors full of booze and sit them at tables next to each other. Plus it’s on NBC so nobody is watching and they can do whatever they want. So join me on this journey as we mock Low Winter Sun for 3 hours.

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2013 Emmy’s: Running Diary

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Last night the Emmy’s were (was?) on. I drank some beer and wrote about it. Here are a few highlights.

5:08 – Neil Patrick Harris’s intro mercifully ends. Basically it was a bunch of clips from TV shows talking to him about hosting. I can already tell this is gonna be worse than the Teen Choice Awards and the VMA’s combined. Nobody at those shows is anywhere near as bad as the people responsible for Big Bang Theory.

5:13 – The monologue is pretty awful too. Then former hosts come on stage. Jimmy Kimmel, Jane Lynch, Jimmy Fallon and then Conan. Kevin Spacey interjected as his character from  House of Cards.  Finished with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler crawling on to stage fake-drunk because they are objectively the fucking best.

5:18 – First award of the night is Supporting Actress in a Comedy. There are approximately 17 nominees. Some lady from Nurse Jackie won. I’ve heard of this show but didn’t know it was a comedy. I thought it was a recurring Lifetime movie or something.

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Work computer greatest hits.

It’s my last day at work, which means deleting a bunch of crap off the hard drive. Here are just a few of the pictures I have saved on here for some reason.

ImageThe thing is, I really was looking for a One Direction song.

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I DON’T GET IT I DON’T SEE ANY OPEN SEATS ARE WE SURE THIS IS QUALCOMM???

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San Diego State freshman move-in weekend: an essay through Instagram.

Moving into college is a big deal. So big, that it’s important to take pictures of your bedding and coffee. I spent the past few days keeping an eye on the #SDSU tag on Instagram for move-in weekend. Here is what’s going on with freshmen these days:

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Statistically, all of these girls already have mono.

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OK, nobody actually calls Zura “The Zoo” after the first week.  Call it by it’s real name “Arkham Asylum with shittier furniture”.

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2013 VMA’s: running diary

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So after the Teen Choice Awards it seemed only right to cover the VMA’s. It’s basically the same event but with more commercials for teen pregnancy shows. I have high hopes for this one. We know NSync is reuniting. if they perform with One Direction I might grow ovaries. LET’S DO THIS THING:

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2013 Teen Choice Awards: running diary

Tonight I decided to get drunk and live-blog the Teen Choice Awards. Five years ago WE HAD HOPE JOBS AND CASH and also running diaries were a respected form of blogging. Now that Twitter exists they’re kind of outdated. Also outdated? Haters, you haters. DEAL WITH IT.

8:00 – We open with 1Direction. I missed most of it getting something to drink. We’re out of bourbon. MALIBU IT IS.

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