When you really think about it, fanatically rooting for any particular sports team is pretty goddamn stupid.
The most important picture ever taken by modern technology. (SUCK OUR DICKS, COWBOYS.)
I’m not talking about just following a particular sport or team and I’m not talking about going to games and having a rooting interest. I’m talking about the over-the-top, die-hard sports fans that live and die by the accomplishments and failures of a group of athletes they have absolutely no meaningful connection to. Those people are idiots.
I am an idiot and I am a Green Bay Packers fan.
When the Packers win — the grass is greener and the sky is bluer.
When the Packers lose — who the fuck cares about what color the sky is? We need a new coach and the defense fucking sucks.
I have an unnatural hatred towards the residents of Chicago and Minnesota, simply because the Bears and the Vikings happen to be aligned in the same division as the Packers. I don’t really care about the Lions because LOLions.
A few years ago,Green Bay lost a close overtime game against Chicago to give the Packers their first loss of the year. I punched a hole straight through the cheap, cardboard-like closet door in my apartment and went on a two-hour, direction less walk.
Was that reaction stupid, inappropriate and immature? Absolutely. And I even knew that at the time. But in that moment, someone needed to know how dissatisfied I was with the Packers’ offensive line. That someone just happened to be my closet door.
What’s even more incredible about my irrational devotion to the team is the completely arbitrary way I became a fan.
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